Gwyneth Paltrow, from Iron Man 2 to Country Strong!

November 12, 2010


 

 

Dear Gwyneth,

 

We saw you perform "Country Strong" on the CMA's and, at first glance, felt pleasantly un-offended and neutral about the whole thing.  See, we know how the country business works; we don't expect every country singer to actually BE country strong, growin' up on the farms, living for friday night lights, and letting their whiskey "make their babies, get a little frisky." (Thanks for that one, Luke Bryan.)  (Con't)

 

We understand that there are labs in Nashville where old curmudgeons crank out songs that are direct seeker missiles to the heart of middle America, and you are just a puppet in their show.  In the end, what we really want to know is: how much did it cost to put together the world's best studio musicians to get a faux-country album to #16 on the Billboard Top Country Albums chart?  I guess it's not too hard when you star in Iron Man  and are married to the lead singer of the biggest band in the world and also run a holistic lifestyle website questionably named Goop.  But seriously, bravo, you didn't sound half bad.  We fell for the music itself. But then we turned back at the screen and saw your long bond hair and skinny arms (fried chicken doesn't help that cause, you know), and heard you pronounce "can't" kay-unt, we thought, nice acting Gwenny. All those hours with the vocal coach really paid off!

 

Love,

 

Seth

 


Posted in MUSIC on November 12, 2010 1:23pm by Seth | 12 comments



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